


The Miseducation of Steven G. Rogers

by spontaneoussquirrel17



Series: Lover Come Over [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Gen, M/M, Marijuana, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-03-20 17:23:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18997150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spontaneoussquirrel17/pseuds/spontaneoussquirrel17
Summary: Kate Bishop is assigned to acclimate Steve Rogers to the 21st century.  Hijinks ensue.





	1. Gotta Get Down on Friday

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to helloarmchairphilosopher for being my beta reader!
> 
> 90% of my titles are stolen from song lyrics. I'll try credit each song and artist at the end of each chapter. Please let me know if it appears I've missed something.
> 
> All of my writing is taking place in a semi-AU where I adhere to canon as much as possible except for when the canon writers made stupid-ass decisions, in which case, I have elected to ignore it.
> 
> My Kate Bishop and Clint Barton characters are based more on the Matt Fraction comics than the MCU characters.

“Name’s Kate.Kate Bishop.I’m one of those Millennial Interns everyone keeps grumbling about.Fury’s assigned me to be your ‘reintegration officer’.”The tall, thin, dark-haired girl stuck out a hand.Steve took it and shook, noting the hard calluses between her index and middle finger.

“Good to meet you, Kate,” Steve said politely.

“I was figuring we’d start with get to know you stuff before we move on to the heavy lifting.Wanna go get coffee?”Kate asked.They were currently standing in the atrium at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.It was sleek, dark, and minimally furnished.It wasn’t exactly great place to have a comfortable conversation with someone you’d just met.Especially when that conversation was supposed to be about getting acclimated to the 21st century.

“Sure,” Steve shrugged, so they walked to the Starbucks next door.Kate and the barista seemed to know each other.She and the black man behind the counter chatted it up while Steve ordered a black coffee and Kate got a Venti Iced Soy Dirty Chai Latte with an Extra Shot (whatever the hell that was.)They took their drinks from the counter and went to sit down in a quiet corner.Steve wasn’t totally sure how to make conversation — this was never really his forte, especially with girls, and Steve really was still about 27 developmentally — but he wanted to try, so he commented, “You and the Negro at the counter seem to know each other.How’d you meet?”Steve knew the second he closed his mouth that he’d already messed it up somehow.Kate looked horrified.Then the corner of her mouth quirked up.

“Well, I was gonna save this for tomorrow, but maybe we should actually start with the list of words you’re not supposed to say in 2011.”Kate opened her backpack and leafed through a folder fat with papers until she found the right packet.She passed it to Steve and he took a moment to flip through it.It was extensive, and someone- _probably Kate_ , Steve thought- was kind enough to annotate it with a key to tell him why each word was off limits (racist, sexist, etc.) as well as listing suggestions of alternate words to use.“I threw some innuendos in there too,” she added. “Fury didn’t think it was necessary until I reminded him that the media would have a field day if Captain America told a reporter that he was havin’ a gay ol’ time.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed as he flipped the packet to the G section and read the entry on the word “gay.”“So… we can talk about men who love men now, but we can’t say it on the news?And we can’t use it as a descriptor, but it’s a descriptor…”

Kate waived her hand airily.“I’ve got a whole lesson on this stuff planned.Don’t worry.Anyway, Cap- can I call you that?- anyway, I wanted to get to know you more so I know how to plan our lessons.Likes, dislikes, favorite foods, favorite colors, favorite celebs, you know, the us.”

“Uszhe?Oh, and- um, call me Steve.”

“Sorry, Steve- usual.You look so much like someone my I age I forgot you don’t know the slang.”Steve blushed a bit, but he looked happier than Kate had seen him yet.

“No, it’s the bee’s knees.Keep doing it.If I can’t figure out what you mean I’ll just ask.”Kate looked slightly pained.“… I guess no one says ‘the bee’s knees’ anymore, huh.”

“No, they don’t.We’ll work on it.”Then Kate saw the twinkle in Steve’s eyes.“I’m gonna guess that no one was really saying it by 1945, either,” she said, her eyes narrowing.Steve just grinned and sipped his coffee.“You were joking!You made a joke!”Kate started laughing.Everything suddenly felt much more comfortable between them.

Kate learned that Steve’s favorite color was navy blue, and he loved matzo ball soup and summer and drawing and live music.Steve learned that Kate was studying history at NYU, specifically the early 20th century, and that she’d gotten this assignment because of her knowledge (and because her dad was “like, really ridiculously rich.Seriously.It’s insane.”)She had a deep love of archery (“You should meet my teacher some day.His name’s Clint.You’d totes love him.”)She was “super into” something she referred to as thepunk art rock scene, but she told Steve he’d have to work his way up to it (“But I think you’d totally be into rock music, it’s all from the blues tradition you know.”)When they parted for the day Steve had something called Spotify installed on his phone and a promise to Kate that he would listen to the playlist she planned to create during her 3:00 lecture (“I’ll have it done by 5.No, don’t worry, I can totes listen and make a playlist at the same time, it’s really no big deal.”)Steve hoped she wasn’t about to fail her classes because of him.

 

Kate decided to meet Steve at his apartment for their second lesson.Steve was a little nervous- he’d never invited a girl home.Peggy had invited him into her tent, but that was during the war, and for all the privacy there was it may as well have been a back alley.Kate had assured him that in the 21st century it was totally normal for men and women to meet one-on-one in each other’s apartments like this, as friends.Steve wasn’t sure if they could call themselves friends when this was a work thing and they’d known each other for less than 24 hours, but he wasn’t going to complain.Kate was the first future person who had picked up on one of his jokes.

“I listened to the playlist you made me.It’s cool.”The playlist had been entirely 1950s rock.Steve had liked it.It was rougher than the polished dance hall swing music Bucky had liked.He thought Bucky would have liked it. _Bucky_.Steve must have reacted, because Kate gave him a penetrating glance as she set down her purse.

“If it helps, I’m a lesbian,” Kate said, now opening the box of pizza she’d brought.She must’ve thought he was still uncomfortable about having her visit.She pulled a greasy slice of pepperoni pizza onto her plate, then slid onto the stool at the kitchen island opposite Steve. 

“A lesbian?You don’t sound Greek.”Steve racked his brains to see if he could remember reading any other meaning for the term.

“Oh no, I’m not Greek.I’m into girls.I’ve got a girlfriend.So, like, you’re pretty, but this is doing nothing for me right now.”She waved her pizza-free hand at Steve to indicate his entire physique, or at least the part visible above the kitchen island they were sitting at.Steve’s eyes widened.

“You shouldn’t be telling me this- you could get arrested-“

“Nah, not anymore.I mean, someone might beat me up if I’m in the wrong neighborhood, but most people don’t really care.We’ve even got a whole fuckin’ parade every June- hey, Steve, you should come with me!It’s just next month, and you could meet my girlfriend- oh, sorry, too much too fast?”Steve was looking a little wide-eyed and slack jawed.

“Huh- no, I’ve just gotta- there was a lot in there.So lemme get this straight.Men can like men and women can like women and it’s just a- a thing people do.That other people are ok with.And they can walk around in downtown New York at a parade where everyone can see their faces and know they’re gay.Or lesbian.And no one will arrest them.”

“Right.”Kate grabbed a second slice of pizza.

“And women can swear in mixed company.”

“Abso-fuckin’-lutely, shitstain.”

“And you want me to meet your girlfriend.Isn’t this moving pretty fast, Kate?We’ve only been friends for maybe two days and you want me to meet the family!”

Kate laughed.“Maybe?But it’s not like you really know anyone around here besides S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, right?And gotta love ‘em, but it’s a little odd drinking with your employers.Or non-employers, since they’re not paying me and I don’t know if they’re paying you.”

“Wait- they’re not paying you for this?But they told you to do this because you’re their intern.And you’re clearly putting a lot of time into this.”Steve had a look of righteous outrage that Kate had so far only seen in her history books.

“Steve, remember, my dad is fucking loaded, it doesn’t matter if they’re paying me or not-“

“Yes it does, the labor movement didn’t sacrifice so many good people for you to not get paid.I’m calling Fury.”Steve reached for his phone.

“No- don’t- Steve, really, it’s not a problem.No one gets paid when they do an internship unless they’re in the sciences or something.Really, this is, like, totally normal.”She reached towards Steve’s phone too, as if to try and steal it from him so he couldn’t call Fury.Steve saw what Kate was doing and wearily grabbed a piece of pizza instead.He took a bite.

“Damn!” he said in surprise.

“Yup.Best damn pizza in New York.Clint showed me the place.Now, you wanna see how much of the past 70 years we can cover before I have to leave for class in an hour?”

Kate got an email the next morning from S.H.I.E.L.D. HR with an updated contract, a direct deposit form, and a note that all interns would be making $15 an hour effective immediately.They would be contacted individually regarding back pay.Kate grinned.“Self-righteous bastard,” she muttered, and then proceeded to ignore her homework and work on her lesson plan for Steve instead.

 

Kate met Steve at his apartment every day that week after their Monday Starbucks introduction.On Friday, Kate took it upon herself to investigate why Steve was dressing like her sixty-year-old History of Technology professor.She felt her horror rise as she flipped her way through the hangers in his closet.“Shit, Steve, who supplied your clothes?I haven’t seen this many khakis since I last visited my grandpa.”

“Mmm… Coulson, I think.”Steve was distracted.Kate had showed him Angry Birds.

“Figures.Well, I was gonna take us out on the town tonight, but I think we need to go shopping first.Do you even know your clothing size?You know what, no, don’t even try and answer that, I don’t think you do.Ok asshole, let’s go.”That got Steve’s attention.“Oh I get it, I bring up shopping and the guy tears his eyes away from his phone.I see how it is.”

“No, it’s just- no one’s called me asshole in a while.It’s good.I kinda missed it,” Steve said, and smiled- the genuine smile, not the promotional photo smile.Kate felt like she was doing her job any time she got him to smile like that.It had only happened a couple times over the course of the week.She resolved to make it happen more frequently.

Steve’s grin quickly melted into a frown though.“Aren’t you off the clock tonight?You’re not getting paid to take me out to paint the town red, right?You shouldn’t work when they’re not paying you.”

Kate smiled mischievously.“Actually, I’m under explicit instructions _not_ to take you out on the town.But Jesus Steve, you’re, what, 27?And single?I can’t let you be lame on a Friday night.My conscience wouldn’t allow it.”She adopted an expression of mock righteousness at the mention of her conscience.“Now come on, grandpa, we’ve got to get you a bar outfit.And I am actually on the clock for this so you can’t say no.”

 

Steve had never seen so much clothing in one place at once.He was a little overwhelmed.Kate looked at him and pursed her lips, then steered him towards the men’s t-shirts.“Look around until you find something you like.I’ll meet you back here.”Then she disappeared behind a sea of clothing racks.Steve looked at the massive wall of t-shirts and tried to figure out where to start.There was every color, and all sorts of designs, and it was all so overwhelming.He finally decided to just look at the shirts in navy blue.He finally settled on one that said “Be Kind, Rewind.”He didn’t exactly know what it meant, but being kind was always good.Then he turned to see if Kate was coming back and saw-

There was an entire rack of leather jackets.Steve touched one gingerly- they were real leather.He missed his leather jacket from the war.He looked at the price tag and- _holy shit_ they were expensive- but Steve was able to remind himself that it wasn’t really that bad because of inflation and anyway, he had the money.He grabbed a brown one in the same size as the t-shirt just as Kate sidled back up to him with a couple pairs of jeans and a shoebox under one arm.An eyebrow went up when she saw the leather jacket.“Good choice.Come on, let’s see which pair of jeans fits you.”

An hour later Kate was pulling him into a bar that clearly catered primarily to students.He was wearing navy canvas shoes, dark wash skinny jeans that Kate had assured him showed off his“ass-ets” perfectly, the blue t-shirt, and the brown leather jacket.Kate must’ve been right when she said he looked good.People wouldn’t stop staring at them as Kate led them towards the bar- both women _and_ men.Huh.Even the bouncer had waved them through.“Maria!Clint!”Kate fist-bumped her archery instructor and gave her girlfriend a quick kiss.“Steve, this is Maria and Clint.Maria and Clint, Steve.”

Maria waved and said hi.Clint shook Steve’s hand and said “Pleased t’meet ya properly.It was good fighting with you.”Steve liked him at once.He knew they’d met before, but being brainwashed and then fighting aliens together hadn’t really been conducive to actual introductions.Clint was clearly a little rough around the edges, but he fought well and also taught Kate archery.He had a sudden feeling he wasn’t teaching archery as just a sport.“Forgive me in advance, Cap- my hearing’s crap.If I ignore you it’s not on purpose.Also, I’m not actually here.I would never, ever go to bars with my archery students.Even my favorite ones.Especially not the ones who are underage.I’m gonna hazard a guess that you’re not actually here either since that’s not the image S.H.I.E.L.D. is gonna want you to project.”

Steve looked at Clint in confusion.“Underage?”

Kate looked quickly to make sure the bartender was occupied elsewhere, then quickly told Steve, “It’s illegal for anyone under 21 to drink alcohol.”

“Well that’s a fuckin’ tragedy.I could drink beer when I was 18.Hell, I came home from Barnes family Seders buzzed on Kosher wine from the time I was 12.How old are- you know what, don’t tell me.Plausible deniability.Clint, tell me what’s good.I can’t actually get drunk so strength doesn’t matter.”

 

"So how'd you meet Kate?” Steve asked.  Clint was staring straight ahead sipping his beer, no indication that he'd heard Steve.  The bar was loud with talking and some horrible thudding music.  Of course Clint couldn't hear him.  He gently laid a hand on Clint's shoulder.  Clint turned to look at him and Steve asked again.

"Sorry Cap- I never wear my hearing aids to this place.  I hate the music."  Clint replied.Steve turned his head to listen almost imperceptibly- the type of move people with better hearing in one ear do.It was a reflex that still kicked in when Steve was in crowded spaces.He realized that Clint saw and recognized the gesture for what it was.

"I get that.  Sometimes I wish the serum hadn't fixed my hearing as well as it did- this place is ridiculously loud.  I guess the upside is I can actually hear you though."  Steve shrugged as he said this.  "But yeah.  You and Kate.  How'd you end up teaching her?"

"Her daddy has money.  I need money.  'Nuff said."  Steve could tell that wasn't the whole story.

"Yeah, so how'd her pops find you?"

Clint grimaced.  "No one says "pops" anymore, Cap.  Get with the times."  Then he took a long drink of his beer- the universal sign of a long story ahead.  Steve waited patiently.  "Kate's a smart kid.  The Bishop family has always been on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s radar because the business has some clients that we're... interested in.  I'm S.H.I.E.L.D. too, by the way.  So's Maria.  Kate didn't want you going out with anyone that hasn't been through an extensive background check.  Again, smart kid.

"Anyway, it became pretty clear that Kate wasn't the same as her dad.  Didn't like some of his business practices and wasn't afraid to tell him.  Great schoolwork, too.  We started keeping an eye on her for recruitment purposes.  She did archery the same way some rich kids do polo or whatever, so we started to put my name out there as an Olympic-level archery instructor.  Her dad bit.  Rest is history."

Steve nodded.  "Somehow I didn't think you were training her for the Olympics."

Clint snorted.  "As this point she's too good for the Olympics.  The competition would bore her to death.  She's almost as good as I am.  She'll make a fantastic agent."  They sat together in silence for a moment, watching Kate and Maria.  They were on the dance floor doing something that apparently passed as dancing nowadays to a heavily auto-tuned song that was extolling the virtues of Friday.  Two young lovers having the time of their lives.  It was beautiful.  Clint and Steve both wished they could have that again.

"She's a good kid," Steve said finally.  "She dragged me here because she said she couldn't stand to think of someone my age alone at home on a Friday night."

Clint smiled with just a twinge of sadness.  "That's our Kate.  She's got a good heart.  I hope she can keep it that way."

Steve felt a chill run through him that had nothing to do with the ice cube in the bottom of his whiskey glass.

 

Maria sat down on the barstool next to Steve, covered in sweat from dancing.  Since the conversation with Clint had gone well Steve figured he'd try with Maria too.  "Clint says you work for S.H.I.E.L.D. too," he ventured.

"Yeah, I'm an intern at R&D.  Thanks for getting us paid, by the way,  Kate told me.  Oh, and Research and Development.  Examining weird shit and inventing stuff," Maria clarified as she saw a flash of confusion on Steve's face.  "Kate and I met at the internship orientation and the rest, as they say, is history.  It just felt like coming home, you know?  Anyway, she says you're gonna come to Pride with us next month?"

Steve shifted a bit on his stool.  "Yeah.  I mean, maybe.  I dunno.  Guess I'm not really sure about it all.  I mean, I knew people who were- who were gay, but we didn't really talk about it.  And now you and Kate are dancing in a club that's not just for- for gay people, and you're not getting arrested.I’m still getting used to it.”

"Oh yeah, gotcha.  Yeah, rights for LGBT people has really become a mainstream thing.  Plus I think something like half of our generation identifies as something besides straight?  It's pretty cool."

"LGBT?"

"Sorry- I guess you and Kate haven't gotten to that lesson yet.  It's the acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bi, and Trans.  Sometimes people throw Queer and Ace into it too."  Maria saw Steve's look of confusion.  She grabbed a napkin, pulled a pen from her purse, and started diagramming as she talked.  "So lesbians are girls who like girls, right?  And gays are guys who like guys.  But sometimes, girls like girls and guys, or guys like guys and girls, so those people are bisexual.  Or pansexual, since people can identify as neither girls or guys.  Trans people are people who were born one gender but identify with another.  So like maybe they were born with society saying they're a guy, but they feel and act like a girl so they're a girl, or vice versa.  Queer is kind of an umbrella term for everything.  Asexual people aren't attracted to anybody.  It's actually a lot more complicated than that, but that's the general gist."

"Wow.  I didn't know there were so many- so many choices."

"Oh, it's not choices.  It's like, who you are and stuff.  Who you're born.  Like, you loved that Peggy Carter chica, right?  You didn't, like, sit there and think 'hey, I should like this Peggy person.'  You just liked her.  Same for me and Kate.  We didn't sit there and say 'hey, we should start holding hands and shit in public so that assholes would yell at us in the street'.  We just liked each other."

Steve nodded.  This made sense.  Then he frowned.  "Wait- you girls get yelled at?  But I thought you said it was acceptable?"

"Yeah, some religious wingnuts think the Bible says we're gonna go to hell.  Or guys who just hate women and think we're good for nothing but sex.  And, I mean, we can still get fired for being gay, and we can't get married or anything.  Yet.  But it's changing."

Steve sat quietly for a minute, a look of righteous fury growing on his face.  Then he said, "Yeah, I'd like to go to Pride with you girls.  Someone's gotta make sure no one gets beat up."

Maria smiled and rolled her dark brown eyes.  "Kate's right, you do look just like the propaganda posters when you do that.  But honestly, I think you're gonna have a harder time making sure Kate doesn't beat anyone up.  She doesn't take shit off anybody.  That's cool you're coming though- it's gonna be tight.  Oooh, speaking of tight, Kate and I should start planning your outfit..."

Steve opened his mouth to ask, and then closed it.  He wasn't sure he was ready to know what that meant yet.  He made a mental note to look up "Pride outfits" tomorrow.

 

Clint got called in on a “mission” — something about some Russians hassling old Mrs. McLean on the first floor —so it was Steve that walked Kate and Maria home.  It wasn't surprising to him that they lived together- all the gay people he'd known before the war were roommates with each other.  It had been safer that way.  "Next Friday, same time, my family's restaurant.  You gotta try real Central American food.  Not that fake Mexican shit.  Plus mi tio makes the best margaritas in the city.  Seven p.m.Don’t be late,"  Maria said as she and Kate hugged Steve goodnight.

Steve walked home slowly, savoring the sweet spring night air.  He liked Kate and her friends.  They treated him like he was human- something that no one else really did.  Everyone he met saw him as Captain America, legendary all-American boy.  They treated him like a perfect hero, or a piece of breakable glass.  And Steve was messed up- he had nightmares, and panic attacks, and 70 years worth of grief bottled up.  He'd also been a hero, he guessed, although he'd prefer to think of it as monumentally stupid and vaguely suicidal.  Kate looked at him though and saw a 27 year old.  Vaguely lost, maybe, and definitely weird, but she got his humor in a way no one else at S.H.I.E.L.D. seemed to.  So had Clint and Maria.  It was nice.

Steve thought back to his conversation with Maria.  "You didn't, like, sit there and think 'hey, I should like this Peggy person.'  You just liked her," she had said.  He had just liked Peggy, almost the same way he liked Bucky.  If Bucky was home, Peggy was his home-away-from-home.  Bucky was a guy, so he was Steve's best friend.  Peggy was a girl, so she was his girlfriend.  That's just the way it worked.  But Maria had said that meeting Kate was like finding her home.  Maria talked about it like it was love.  Was that what love was, then?  Finding a person who made you feel like home?

Steve shook his head to clear it.  It was a lot to take in.  If love meant feeling like home with someone, then Steve had loved Bucky.  Had always loved Bucky.  Still loved him, even though he was long dead.  But he hadn't- he didn't- he wasn't-

Memories flooded in.  Bucky, laying on the roof with a bottle of cheap whiskey next to him, a cigarette dangling out of his mouth and moonlight falling softly on his bare chest.  Bucky beating up a kid in an alleyway for beating up Steve.  Bucky curled around Steve as he shivered in bed, sick yet again.  Bucky's face when he realized Steve was rescuing him.  _Bucky_ -

Steve's hands were trembling and he was sweating slightly.  He also realized that he was hard.  Steve loved Bucky.  That meant he was- well, he didn't know what he was.  Not straight, he realized.  He’d loved Peggy too.Maybe that bi thing Maria had told him about?  Bi.  He exhaled, trying to steady himself.  The world suddenly felt strange but right at the same time.  Like the kaleidoscope had shifted and the pattern was new and different, but also somehow the same.  Steve was bi.

He went home and masturbated to thoughts of Bucky, coming just as hard as he had when it had been to thoughts of Peggy.  He drifted off to sleep.


	2. Let the Sun Rain Down on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate takes Steve to see Art.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to helloarmchairphilosopher for beta-ing once again!

During the second week of "The Miseducation of Steven G. Rogers" (as Kate called it) they started taking "field trips" (as Kate called them).  The first was to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  Steve grumbled a bit about having to pay to get in, but Kate also saw him slip Benjamin Franklin's face into the donation box, so he must not have minded too much.  "I just think everyone should have the opportunity to experience art, whether they can pay or not," Steve said, blushing, as he felt Kate's eyes on him.

"That makes sense.  I mean, you couldn't have afforded a museum with prices like this as a kid, right?  And you always fight for the little guy.  But obviously museums in America can't be free, because Capitalism."  Kate rolled her eyes a bit as she said this.

"Wait- what- really?That shit is still an issue?Why the hell-”

Kate cut him off before he could say anything else, rolling her eyes again, this time into a glare.  "Steve, we are here to see Art.  Capital A Art.  I'm not a huge art person, but I know you are, so being here and not heading straight for the World War II section is already stretching my comfort zone.  We are NOT having a discussion about economics in the middle of an art museum like a couple of stoned hipsters."

Steve opened his mouth to protest, but Kate was already heading towards the first room.  He shook his head instead and followed.  He'd always liked stoned hipsters.  They were nice to him.  They appreciated his art.  He liked their second hand smoke, too.  So much better than tobacco, although Steve liked the smell of that better.  But marijuana smoke made him feel warm and relaxed, almost like being curled up to Bucky did.  He'd tried smoking it himself, once, but it just gave him an asthma attack.  After that he just contented himself with breathing in the clouds the hipsters exhaled as they gave him pointers and bought his sketches.

When they reached the room with World War II era art Kate became distracted, like she was looking for something.  After a moment Steve heard her mutter "There it is."  Kate elbowed Steve to make sure she had his attention and then dragged him over to what looked like a small scrap of paper in a shadowbox on the back wall.

Steve looked at it and felt numb.  He'd always dreamed about having his art in a museum one day.  Having a grand gallery opening.  He'd wear his best suit, and Bucky would be there in  _his_  best suit, and they'd be drinking champagne and eating strawberries out of season and listening to people mutter in awe about how moved they were by his drawings.  He'd be able to make art his steady job then, and he'd make enough so that Bucky wouldn't have to work overtime at the factory any more, and they could-

Steve didn't know how he was going to finish that sentence, but it didn't matter.  It was 2011, not 1938.  The 'unknown soldier' in the original Steven G. Rogers sketch (graphite on paper) was at the bottom of a ravine, not sitting on a camp cot with his legs spread wide and his face scrunched in laughter.  There was no smell of blood and dirt and tobacco and whiskey, just sterile air and overpriced perfume and-

"Hey, I need some air.  Let's get outta here," a female voice said from somewhere.  Steve was distantly aware that he was crushing someone's hand, and that the someone in question was steering him out of the room and towards the nearest emergency exit.  He let himself be led.  Then he was outside, blinking in the bright sun, and he let out a shaky breath and let go of the hand.  He let Kate push him down so he was sitting on a retaining wall in the alley behind the museum.

"So, no more surprises.  Got it.  I'll call the stripper and tell her to get out of your closet."  Steve tried to laugh but didn't recognize the sound that came out.  Kate sat on the wall next to him and ran her hand across his shoulders in a gesture that Steve realized was an attempt to calm him.  He started counting his breaths, evening them out.  After a while Kate spoke again.  "You wanna talk about it?"

Steve started to shake his head, then stopped.  He did want to talk about it.  He just didn't know how.

"You knew him," Kate stated.  Steve nodded.  "You loved him."  Again, it was a statement, not a question.  Steve felt something tighten in his chest.  He couldn't respond.  "It was James Barnes, wasn't it.  Not just an unknown solder.  Sargent James Buchanan Barnes."

"Bucky," Steve corrected automatically.

"Well fuck me sideways, now I feel like the world's biggest asshole.  Come on.  Let's get you home.  I'll call Pirelli's so the pizza gets there when we do."

Kate stayed with Steve until he fell asleep.  When he woke up in the morning she was gone.  There was a piece of paper on the kitchen counter that hadn't been there yesterday, though.  Steve picked it up and started reading Kate's scrawling print.  It took him a minute to realize what it was.

It was a list.  Kate had written down every museum, every gallery, every print and musical and cinematic media she could think of that talked about the life of Captain America.  An asterisk at the bottom warned that the list was incomplete.  Steve didn't care.  He knew that Kate was trying to make up for yesterday.  He was grateful.

 

Kate found Steve waiting for her when she got out of class.  He was wearing his skinny jeans, a pair of brown oxfords, a blue plaid short sleeve button up shirt, and a pair of hipster glasses.  He was also holding two coffees.  "Creeper," Kate said as she accepted the coffee Steve was holding out for her.

"You're the one who gave me your schedule," Steve responded seriously.  "Wanna take a walk and talk music?  I have some thoughts about the Beatles' psychedelic phase that I want to share with someone who actually has taste."

"Oh my God you really are a hipster, aren't you," Kate groaned.  "Next thing I know your apartment will be decked out in succulents and Edison bulbs and you'll be lecturing me about how I should be going vegan to save the planet."

Steve grinned.  "I've been a hipster since before it was cool.  Remember how I was a starving artist in the '30s?  Who do you think was giving me art lessons and buying my sketches?"

"Oh God," Kate groaned again as she facepalmed herself.

"I do have some questions about the ethics of veganism though, since eating animal product like eggs and honey have either a net zero or positive effect on the animals in question- maybe we should talk about that instead of the ramifications of the Sargent Pepper album on popular music?"  Steve was teasing now.  He had so missed having someone who spoke that language.

"I swear to God, Steven G. Rogers, if you go vegan on me I'm gonna shoot you."

"I dunno Kate, all those sad little chickens with their mopey eyes..."

"You've never seen a live chicken, have you."

Steve racked his brain.  "Um.. I think I have?  I wasn't paying a huge amount of attention to it though.We killed it and ate it.”

"Ok, that settles it.  Next field trip is a farm.  You're gonna learn how fucking terrifying those prehistoric egg shitters are."

"Ok, ok.  I do want to learn the differences between cage free and factory farms and stuff.Just- no surprises this time, ok?"  Steve hated to ask, and he didn't think Kate would, but-

"No surprises, shitstain."  Kate elbowed him in the ribs.  "So, speaking of prehistoric egg shitters, what do you think "the egg man" means?"  Steve smiled as the conversation shifted.  Kate was a good friend.  She had his six.

 

Later that week Kate took Steve to the Guggenheim Museum.  "It's all weird modern shit," Kate told Steve.  "There's, like, no way you'll be surprised by anything.  Unless it's what counts as art now."

Steve laughed, but he appreciated Kate's thoughtfulness.  The Guggenheim was fascinating to him.  Occasionally he found a work by an artist he'd admired growing up.  He could see in the artwork the natural progression of the art scene he'd been on the fringes of.  Steve's style had always been more realistic, but he admired artists who could convey emotion just as strongly with abstract colors and shapes.  It made him want to sketch again.

He stopped by an art store after he and Kate parted for the afternoon.  It was overwhelmingly large, but he managed to find a plain sketchbook and some nice pencils.  Then he found an outdoor table the nearest cafe, bought a coffee, and began to draw for the first time since 1945.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" by Panic! at the Disco.


	3. Don't Hide Yourself In Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate takes Steve to Pride!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloarmchairphilosopher is amazing for continuing to beta whenever I text and ask for more. I have good friends. <3
> 
> ... I haven't actually been to Pride yet. But this is what my hopeful little bisexual heart imagines it to be like.

"So, what do you want to wear to Pride?  Something sexy?  Glittery?  Patriotic?  Grandpa Steve?  Gimme something to go off of."  Kate was practically bouncing as she said this.  She and Maria were sitting on Kate's bed while Steve was on the floor, crushing a bean bag chair.  It was somehow pretty comfortable.

"I dunno," said Steve casually, "what do bi people usually wear to Pride?"  There was a second of silence as Kate froze and her eyes widened.  It was broken by Maria cracking up laughing.  She started rolling around on the bed, apparently unable to contain herself.  Her glee was infectious and Steve found himself grinning.

"I knew it!!!  I knew it, oh you little shit, why didn't you tell me?" Kate screeched.

"Little shit?  I'm half a foot taller'n you,” Steve teased.He looked happy and bashful.  "I only realized it myself a couple weeks ago.  But I did some research and yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm bi.”By research he meant a lot of masturbating while thinking about Bucky.Once he’d even fantasized about what a three way between Bucky, Peggy, and himself would have been like.He’d come twice.

Kate asked "Are you going to come out at Pride?" at the same time Maria asked "Have you told Fury?"  They looked at each other, then said in unison "Girl, you've _got_ to sort out your priorities."

Steve laughed.  He felt a lot lighter, now that he knew that _I’m bi_ was a sentence he could actually say and people wouldn't necessarily shun him for it.  "I was thinking I might want to come out.  It seems like the kind of thing that would really help people, you know?  If the serum was supposed to fix everything wrong with me, but I still like girls and guys, then it's not something bad.  You know?"

Kate nodded.  "Yeah, I like that.  Sounds good.  You should do it."

"But you should probably tell Fury first," added Maria.  "The media's gonna have a field day when they get a hold of it."

Steve frowned.  "Why?  It's not like S.H.I.E.L.D.'s gonna fire Captain America.  They have the best PR people on their team.  And it's my personal life.  It has nothing to do with my work life."

Kate rolled her eyes.  "Dude, you're a celebrity.  You don't  _have_  a personal life."

Steve's jaw set stubbornly.  "Well, I want a personal life, so I'm gonna try and have one.  And if that means Fury chews my balls off for marching at Pride as a bisexual, well, it seems like that may actually be something I enjoy."  This sent Kate into peals of laughter.  Maria chuckled a bit, still looking slightly worried, but then she shrugged.

"Hey, it's your huevos on the line here, not mine.  So what are you thinking?  I bet we could find you a Speedo in the bi flag colors," Maria said with a smirk.

Steve did a quick search on his phone.  "Mmm, I dunno.  I don't think I'm ready for a Speedo.  I guess I was thinking sequins, like when I was back with the USO.  I always liked the little bit of mascara and eyeliner they'd have me wear for that too.  And maybe some of the bright hair people do now — do they do that in temporary?  I wouldn't want to be stuck with blue hair forever.  And nothing Captain America — I'm doing this as Steve Rogers, not him."  

Maria nodded.  "That's a good start.  Let's see what we can find in your size with 2 day shipping."

 

They settled on a sequin-covered navy blue unitard that covered Steve from mid-thigh almost up to his collarbones.  Kate convinced him that pink would look better in his blonde hair, and she carefully painted in the temporary highlights so it looked almost professional- "You're gonna end up on TV, after all, you're too famous not to get noticed.”  Steve finished the thin rim of charcoal eyeliner around his eyes and stepped back to admire the effect.  People wore super thick eyeliner these days- how would it look on him if he darkened and widened the upper lid, just a little?  Steve tried it and liked the effect.  He swiped on a light coat of mascara.

"Ready to go?"  Kate popped her head in.  "I swear you take longer to get ready than my mother, and she takes  _for-ev-er_."

"How do I look?"  Steve turned and held out his arms, turning from side to side so Kate could see his outfit.  Kate whistled.

"Every non-lesbian there is gonna be lining up to ride you like a stud muffin.  I'm mixing my metaphors you look so good.  If you were a woman and, like, 77 years younger, I'd do you.  We're gonna have a hard time keeping people off you."  Kate was grinning.  Steve felt a rush of affection and thought this must be what it felt like to have a sister.  "Speaking of which, my friends have all volunteered to be your security detail and yes, I know you don't need one and you're off duty and whatever, but still.  Even Clint's coming and he's as straight as those exploding arrows he loves so much.  We just wanna make sure you don't get mauled to death by a horde of horny gays and the media.”

Steve nodded.“Thanks.I’m not sure I’m ready to get mauled to death by a horde of horny gays.We’ll save that for the gay bar afterwards.”

Kate rolled her eyes.“No one at S.H.I.E.L.D. besides Maria, Clint, and I has no idea what a little shit you are, do they.”

“Nope,” Steve said, giving Kate his shit-eating grin.“Does it make you feel special?”

Kate groaned.“Special isn’t the word I’d use, but I’ll take it.Now come on, we’re gonna be too late to be fashionably late if we don’t get outta here.”

 

It turned out Kate was wrong about Clint being one hundred percent straight.When they got to the place where Kate had told her friends to meet Clint was already there, wearing a giant arrow costume.  "Get it?  I'm arrow-mantic!  But no, really guys, for real.  Congratulations, you're the first to know.  I literally do not get romance."

"Hi Arrow-mantic, nice to meet you.  I'm Bi,"  Steve quipped as he stuck out his hand.  Clint grinned and shook it.  Kate groaned.

"Of course he does dad jokes.  Of course.  He dresses like a fucking grandpa and tells dad jokes.  Someone shoot me now."

"On it.  Steve, can you pick me up and throw me at Kate like we're a bow and arrow?  Or should I say bi and aro?  Anyway, she wants me to shoot her."  Steve scooped Clint up and started to swing him like he was gaining momentum.  Kate looked like she couldn't decide whether to laugh or die of embarrassment.Thankfully, she was saved by Maria, who showed up and gave Steve and Clint a look that reminded Steve so much of his elementary level Sunday School teacher Sister Brunhild that he set Clint down.

 

Kate and her gang melted into the middle of the parade as it got going.They made sure to form a blob around Steve, with Clint at his six.Thankfully they somehow made it feel natural- probably something to do with the fact that all of Kate’s friends were in their early 20s and coated in glitter.The mood was energetic and infectious as they marched, passing a flask of tequila between them.

Steve couldn't help but find the armed police presence incongruous with the jubilant mood of the marchers, though.  He could see why they were there- occasionally, Steve caught sight of people along the sidewalk holding signs saying the most horrible things.  It made him nervous to think that they had so much anger that they sought out an event like this to protest.He turned to catch Clint’s attention.”Hey Clint- Clint- there are so many kids here- you think we could get them all home safe?"  Clint looked back at Steve and smiled sadly.

"There are too many, Cap.  We can't ensure everyone's safety.  You might have a hard time with this, but we can't save 'em all.  You should know that by now."

"Yeah, I suppose I should," Steve said ruefully.  It gave him flashbacks to the men he'd lost in the war.  To the fights he’d lost in alleyways.To Bucky.Steve shuddered and tried to calm his breathing.

"You ok, Cap?" Clint asked.

"Yeah.  Yeah, just... remembered something, is all.  Hey, will you look at that!" and Steve pointed excitedly off at something he'd just spotted in the distance, now all smiles and breeziness.He saw the look Clint gave him, though- sadness and disapproval all rolled into one.Steve would have to be more careful.He didn’t want Clint joining the chorus at S.H.I.E.L.D. that wanted him to go to more therapy.

 

"Sir- Mr. Rogers, sir- can I get a quote?"  Steve looked to find a slender young man speaking to him.  Something about him reminded Steve of his sickly, scrawny younger self.  Kate's army of friends had been keeping the major news outlets away, but this reporter was small enough that he'd managed to somehow slip through.  "I'm Devin from Out Magazine.  Would you be willing to say something for the record?"  Steve thought for a minute.

"Yeah, sure.  Whaddya wanna know?"

Devin looked flustered, like he couldn't believe his own luck.  Steve watched him turn his cell phone camera to video and then aim it at Steve’s face.”Well- um- let's start with why you're here.  Why are you here at Pride today, Mr. Rogers?"

"Well," said Steve slowly, "My friend Kate invited me.  And I figured I should go, you know, support my community and all that."

"Your community- Captain America, are you telling me you're gay?"  Devin looked like Christmas had come early and he'd somehow managed to catch Santa in his living room.He was having a hard time keeping the hand holding the phone steady.

"Please- I'm off duty- call me Rogers.  Or Steve.  Either works.  And yes, I identify as bisexual.  And- and Devin, can I tell your readers something?"

"Yes- of course- anything," Devin gasped.  Steve was half afraid the guy was going to have an asthma attack.

"Can- can you tell them that when I had the serum, it fixed everything that was wrong with me.  It fixed my heart and my lungs and made me grow a whole foot.  But it didn't- it didn't make me not bi.  It didn't make me stop loving the people I loved.  So if that's- if that's not a defect for me, then it's not a defect for anyone else.  And no one should feel like it is.  Full stop.  -do people still say full stop?"

Deven was still gasping.  "N-n-no, they don't, Mr. Steve, sir.  Um- thank you- thank you real much- I- uh- I gotta go- Tweet-" and he rushed off into the crowd.  Steve thought he knew what Devin would think about when he masturbated for the rest of his life.He let out a quiet chuckle.

 

Steve ducked into the alleyway behind the bar to breathe.It had been a long day.He was reaching the point that being around drunk people wasn’t very fun anymore, and his head was starting to ache from the loud, throbbing music.Clint followed him and thrust something into his hand once they were in the alley.Steve looked down.“A lighter and…”

“A joint.You know what marijuana is, Rogers?Smoke up.I brought you the good shit.Strong enough you should actually feel it.Special variety called Hulkbuster, specifically bred for people like… well, people like you.”

“Do I know what- for fuck’s sake, Clint, I’m an artist, of course I know what marijuana is,” Steve grumbled.He lit up.“Jesus, you were right, this is good.Please tell me this is legal now?”

“No, it’s not legal, and no, you don’t know where I got it from or who’s growing it, and no, I will not have any because any normal human who smokes this shit ends up curled up in a fetal position laughing their head off for the next six hours.Believe me.I tried it.”Clint waved away the joint, which Steve had held out for him.He already felt more relaxed than he’d been since before World War II.They stood in the alley enjoying the relative quiet as Steve smoked his joint. 

By the time Steve was done he felt lighter than he had since the war had started.He laughed, just because he could and it felt good.Then he realized he was starving.“Heeey, Clint… Pizza?” Steve said slowly, tasting how the words felt in his mouth.Clint laughed.

“Hell yeah.Lemme go get Kate and Maria and then we’ll go get you some pizza.I know a place.”

 

Fury called Steve and Clint to a meeting on Monday morning.He did not look amused.“One might even say he looks… Fury-ous,” Clint muttered to Steve.Steve held back a laugh, turning it into a snort, and elbowed Clint in the ribs.Clint winced.Too hard.

“So let me get this straight.The two of you went to Pride with two S.H.I.E.L.D. interns, where you were photographed by every news media outlet known to man.Then you, Captain Rogers, gave an exclusive video interview to a reporter outing yourself.Which almost immediately went viral.You know what that is?Viral?Or has Kate just been taking you to hit up the bars instead of doing her damn job?Oh don’t give me that innocent look Rogers, I know Kate’s been taking you to bars despite her underaged status.In the meantime, Dr. Banner has alerted me that some of his… experiment… has gone missing.The last time that happened, you, Agent Barton, were behind it.Care you explain yourselves?”

“No, it sounds like you’ve got it just about covered.Except I don’t know what happened to Dr. Banner’s experiment.Are you sure he didn’t just… forget about where he put it?”Clint was clearly a good agent.If there was a note of humor in there, it was only because Steve was listening for it.Fury clearly didn’t buy it, though.He looked as though he might be developing the start of a migraine.

“Captain Rogers?Care to elaborate?”

“Ms. Bishop never told me her age.I was unaware that she was not old enough to frequent the places she took me to.And clearly, given the fact that I am not currently wearing the clothes Coulson bought me and I have developed a working knowledge of issues facing immigrants and people of color, low wage workers, factory farm animals, and the LGBT community, she has done an excellent job of bringing me up to speed on major cultural developments.In fact, I would argue that she’s done such a good job of educating me that you’re uncomfortable with our respective competencies.Now is the fact that I identify as a bisexual going to cause problems in the workplace?Or should I find an employer that accepts who I am and what I stand for as both Steve Rogers and Captain America?”

Fury sat behind his desk staring down Steve, trying to decide whether it was worth it to fight him or not.Finally, he sighed.“Captain Rogers, Agent Barton, get the hell out of my office.And don’t make me have to do this again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Born This Way by Lady Gaga. Of course it is.


	4. Birthday Party in the USA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve turns 93/27.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloarmchairphilosopher is really cranking out the beta reading. Pretty sure I'm going to owe at least one drink next time I see you.

It was Tony who decided that Steve needed a party for his 27th/93rd birthday.  He assured Steve that the Stark/Avengers Tower rooftop would be fully repaired and refinished by the Fourth of July.  Steve felt a twinge of regret the moment he agreed to it — he had never liked being the center of attention.  When Pepper contacted him about the details, all Steve asked for was that it was tasteful and to ensure that Kate, Maria, and the Avengers were invited.  Pepper assured him that she would reign in some of Tony's more outlandish ideas.  Steve was able to relax slightly after that.

Kate was bubbling with excitement when she told Steve she received the invitation.  "You wanna know the best part?" she said.  "My  _parents_  weren't even invited!  I'm going to a Tony Stark Party  _without_  them!  My mother's gonna be soooo jealous!  Oooh, let's see what we can find for your outfit!!!"

After just ten minutes of looking and a half hour rant from Steve about the wholesale violation of the U.S. Flag Code ("We didn't wear the flag in the USO, Kate, we wore outfits with motifs from it.  That's a big difference,") Kate suggested that Steve just wear his blue sequin unitard from Pride and get some red canvas sneakers to go with it.  Steve agreed to this, partly because Tony happened to text some ideas for a Captain America party costume while Steve was ranting about the flag code.  Any excuse to avoid custom Captain America swim trunks sounded like a good idea to him.

 

Steve picked up Kate, Maria, and Clint on the day of the party.  Kate and Maria were wearing denim shorts and swimsuit tops.  Kate's was red while Maria's was white.  Clint, however, was dressed like a walking American flag.  Steve glared at him.  

"Where's your sense of patriotism, Cap?" Clint asked Steve innocently.  Steve ignored him.

"I guess missing a couple days of your Miseducation so you could take your drive test was worth it after all," Kate said as she gave Steve's new pickup truck an appraising once-over.  "Are the rumors true that you scarred Agent Coulson for life?"

Steve chuckled.  "It's like everyone forgot that I learned how to drive during the war," he said.  Maria and Clint both looked confused, although Kate appeared to understand.  "Driving on well-paved roads with no danger of being bombed is a little boring compared to driving in a war zone at night with no headlights," he added.  Maria looked surprised.  Clint just nodded.

 

One of Tony's aides met them in the parking garage and led them up to the rooftop. Tony looked delighted to see them.  "Captain America!  The man of the hour!  Good to see you, Clint.  You must be Kate and Maria, absolutely delighted.  Someone get these people a drink," he said, wrapping his arm about Steve and then proceeding to introduce him to half a dozen Stark Industries investors and enough models to stage their own fashion show.  Steve slipped into his best USO manners as he shook hands and repeated names.  Finally, they ran out of people for Tony to introduce.  "Natasha sends her best wishes.  She's off on a mission.  Thor's still off world.  Bruce said he'd be up when he was done in his lab — I should go get him, he's going to miss out on the vegan sausages... Oh!  Pepper!  Be a dear and make sure Cap and his friends get drinks and food," and Tony was off.

Pepper gave Steve a commiserating look as she held out a glass of whiskey.  "He's always been like this," she said.  "Feel free to just make yourself at home.  It's your party, after all.  I'll try and keep Tony from hovering too much."

"Thanks," Steve said gratefully.  He took the whiskey and began to take in his surroundings.  The rooftop was absolutely gorgeous.  The middle section where he was standing appeared to be typically used as a helipad and was raised slightly from the rest of the roof.  It had been set up as a dance floor and bar for the night.   The south side of the building was occupied by a garden.  There was a hothouse in one corner.  Raised garden beds formed the walkways of a labyrinth.  The north side was set up with several grills, lounge chairs and tables, and an infinity pool.  Maria was sitting at the edge of the pool with her legs in the water and a bright orange cocktail in her hand.  Kate was sunning herself on a lounge chair behind her, chatting with some of the models.  Clint was perched on the roof of the stairwell with a hot dog in one hand and a beer in the other.

Steve grabbed himself a hot dog and then joined Clint on the stairwell roof.  "Good view from up here," he commented.

"Tell me about it," Clint said through a mouth full of hot dog, eyes trained on the swimming pool full of models.  They sat in silence, eating their hot dogs and watching the fun.  It was nice.

Their peace on the rooftop was not destined to be long lasting, however.  This was a Tony Stark Party after all.  Tony eventually came back to the rooftop with Bruce in tow and then proceeded to stand in the doorway of the stairwell complaining that he couldn't see where Steve was.  Clint flashed Steve a shit-eating grin before hopping off the roof and onto Tony's shoulders.  Steve's laugh mingled with Tony's swears while Bruce looked on, amused.  Steve hopped down himself, landing on the ground instead of on Tony.

"Rogers, I feel betrayed.  How could you laugh at your best friend when he's being attacked?  I regret making you that new suit.  By the way, I made you a new suit.  Happy birthday."

 

Steve decided this would be a bad time to inform Tony that they were not best friends yet.  Instead, he simply said "Thank you, Tony.  You don't know how much I appreciate all you've done for me."  Tony just waved his hand like it was nothing.

"Does this mean we're doing presents now?"  Kate and Maria had come over to see what the commotion was about and caught Tony's comment about the suit.  "Because we've all got presents for you, Steve."

Steve's eyes went wide.  He definitely hadn't been expecting presents at his adult birthday party.  “Well — I — um —"  Tony took Steve's confusion as an opportunity to steer him to the nearest table while signaling for someone to bring them more drinks.  Clint, Kate, Maria, and Bruce followed.  Pepper appeared from somewhere.

One by one they handed Steve envelopes and packages and watched as he opened them, his blush creeping higher and higher with each one.  Kate gave him a 'coupon' for a complete wardrobe refresh.  Maria's present was a gift card to her family's restaurant.  Clint's package turned out to be a gorgeous wood-handled switchblade.  Pepper's was a set of gold cuff links with his shield engraved on them.

Bruce went last, shifting uncomfortably as he handed Steve a brown paper sack.  "A little hawk told me you enjoyed my experiments with botany," he said, determinedly not looking at anyone else but Steve.  "I would have preferred to give this to you in private, but..."

Steve opened the bag, sniffed it, and laughed.  Pepper, however, did not seem amused.  Kate and Maria exchanged a confused glance.  Clint was grinning.  Tony just stared open-mouthed.

"I need to go check on the cake," Pepper said, voice carefully even.  She disappeared as quickly as she had appeared at the table.

"Did you give him supplies too?" Clint asked Bruce.

"Of course- there should be rolling papers, filters, and a lighter in there," Bruce assured him.

"Captain America is a stoner?" Tony yelled incredulously.  Thankfully, the music was loud enough that his voice didn't carry far.

"I can't get drunk," Steve explained nonchalantly.  "The Hulkbuster seems to work, though."

Maria facepalmed.  "So that's what you and Clint were doing behind the bar," Kate said, realization dawning on her face.  "You didn't seem totally sober when we went for pizza after Pride, but I thought it was just because I was drunk."

"What did you think we were doing?" Steve asked with genuine curiosity.

"Blowjobs?" Kate replied.  "What else do men do in an alley behind a gay bar?"

"Smoke weed, apparently," Tony said in a slightly strangled voice.  "And here I thought you were innocent as a choir boy.  Next I'm gonna find out you're not a virgin."

Steve's eyes twinkled.  "Do you want to hear that story?  I wouldn't normally fuck and tell, but I'm pretty sure Peggy told Howard how it went down so I doubt she'd object to his son knowing."

"I think I hear Pepper telling me the cake is ready.  Let me just go — set it on fire — the candles I mean —"  and Tony was off like a shot.

Bruce sighed.  "I'd better go make sure he doesn't actually set fire to anything.  I'll catch up with you after the cake to make sure you know how to roll yourself a joint."  Then he left, merging into the crowd in the direction Tony had gone.

"Well, I'd like to hear the story of how Peggy Carter robbed Steve Rogers of his virginity," Clint said.  Kate and Maria leaned in, faces eager.

Steve rolled his eyes and smiled.  It was so long ago now — and it wasn't like Kate, Clint, and Maria were going to gossip.  "Well, it was during basic training, before I'd gotten the serum..."

 

The cake was a red, white, and blue monstrosity.  There were 93 candles on it: 27 white candles with white flames forming a star in the center, the rest blue with blue flames and red with red flames.  Steve found himself tearing up as his friends (and the assorted investors and models) grouped around, singing 'happy birthday, dear Steve'.  Steve's birthdays had always been quiet affairs — just Steve, his mom, and once they became friends, Bucky.  After Sarah Rogers had died it was just Bucky.  He never could have imagined that his 27th birthday would be spent on a 21st century rooftop in Manhattan with unlimited food and drink and  _friends_.  Friends plural.  He started to imagine what Bucky would say if he was there and then stopped himself.  He really would cry if he let himself go down that road.

"Come on, Steve, blow out the candles!" Kate said, pushing him towards the cake.  Steve closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and blew, images of Bucky still in his mind.  He wasn't sure what he was wishing for.  He hoped the candles knew.

 

Bruce, Clint, and Steve claimed the stairwell rooftop for fireworks viewing.  Kate and Maria were hanging out in the pool with some of Kate's model friends.  Tony and Pepper were arm in arm where Tony could supervise the fireworks.  Tony had made all the fireworks himself.  He'd designed them to be silent as they went off so that he and Steve wouldn't have any PTSD flashbacks.  Steve greatly appreciated this.

Steve and Bruce passed a joint between them while Clint sipped his beer.  Tony's fireworks glimmered among the stars while patriotic band music played.  Steve exhaled slowly, watching as the cloud of smoke from his mouth appeared to melt into the smoke from Tony's fireworks.  He felt a sense of calm and peace that had been unattainable in the alley after Pride.  This was easily in the top 5 birthdays he'd ever had, including the year Sarah Rogers had managed to get fresh strawberries and the year Bucky took him to Coney Island.

The look of contentment slipped from Steve's face at the thought of his ma and Bucky.  Bruce must have noticed, because as he passed the joint back to Steve he commented, "You know, it's really unusual to find a group of people like us.  The only Avenger with family still alive is Thor, and, well — you've seen his family dynamic."

Steve smiled wryly as he took the joint.  "I think the only friend I have with a normal family dynamic is Maria, and even then they're dealing with complex shit because her mom didn't come here legally."

Bruce smiled now, soft and sad.  "Guess it's a good thing we all found each other then," he said.

"Yeah.  Yeah, it really is," Steve replied.  He closed his eyes for a moment as he inhaled, drinking in the night and the smoke and the music and laughter.  Steve was lucky.  He just wished his brain would let him feel that way when he wasn't high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title adapted from Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus.


	5. I'll Discover Some Way to Be Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve becomes a famous artist- ish.

Kate was sitting on Steve's floor cross-legged, a piece of pizza in one hand while the other flipped pages in Steve's sketchbook.  Steve sat on the sofa working his jaw, every muscle tense, watching her.  "I swear to God, Kate, if you get pizza grease on my sketchbook..."

"Yeah, yeah," Kate said airily, waving the piece of pizza in a way that threatened to cover half the living room in grease including the sketchbook.  "Steve, these are good.  Like, seriously.  Have you ever thought about posting them anywhere?"

"Posting them?" Steve asked.  "Like taping them to a lamp post?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean.  Tear them out of your sketchbook and start sticking them up all over the city."  Steve was looking at Kate warily.Some days were harder than others for him.This was one of the hard days.  Kate got the message and softened her tone a bit as she clarified, ”I meant online, idiot."

"Oh," Steve said, indeed feeling like a monumental idiot.  Online.  He was pretty good with Google now and figuring out which websites were reliable sources, but social media still seemed intimidating.  "You really think people would want to see my drawings?” he asked hopefully.

"Of course people would want to see your drawings,” Kate said.  “You're Captain fuckin' America."

"I don't want people to like my drawings because I'm fucking America,” Steve deadpanned.“ I want people to like my drawings because they're good, not because of who I date."

Kate rolled her eyes, but her tone stayed serious.  "Ok, well, it'll be harder to get you a following but you can stay anonymous.  The beauty of the internet."  Kate spread her arms wide as she said this, once again threatening the sketchbook with pizza grease.

"Ok, you know what?  New rule.  No eating near my sketchbook."  Steve grabbed it away from Kate and hugged it to his chest.  "And I don't want a following.  I'm famous enough as it is.  I just want to make people happy."

"Gotcha.  Lemme think..."  Kate started eating the now-cold piece of pizza in her hand.  By the time she was finished she had the look she got whenever she had a plan.  Steve recognized that look now.  She reminded Steve a little of Bucky, in a way- just because she had a plan didn't necessarily mean it was a good one.  Sometimes it meant a field trip to, say, a new and super delicious restaurant.  Sometimes that restaurant happened to be owned by the Russian mob.  Sometimes that led to Kate defending Clint's honor by helping Clint beat up an entire restaurant full of Russian mobsters after downing four shots of vodka.  Steve really hoped this was one of the good ideas and not one of the ones that landed people in the hospital.

"Ok.  So DeviantArt is where most of the artists are, but those people are weird and I'm not ready to explain hentai.  No, don't ask," Kate added, heading off the question she saw forming as Steve opened his mouth.  "Tumblr would be the next best place, except I'm not sure you're ready to see all the Captain America porn floating around there.  That is a thing, by the way.  I think I forgot to put that on my list of things to watch out for."

"Well, fuck me sideways," Steve said in shock, nearly dropping his sketchbook.  The desire to keep it away from Kate's greasy hands kept in firmly in his grip, however.

Kate nodded.”Pretty sure there is one where someone's doing just that.  I saw a screencap.  Get it?  Screen-Cap?  I still it sometimes when I close my eyes.  It's burned into my retinas forever.  I'd do anything to unsee it.”Kate put on her best scarred-for-life face.It was extremely convincing.

"I... I don't think I'm ready for Tumblr," Steve said faintly.

"No.  So Instagram it is,” Kate decided.  “It'll be harder to get good quality, since you'll have to take photos of your drawings on your phone and upload them that way, but I think we can sacrifice quality to preserve that little bit of sanity of you have left."

"You're just taking the easy way out so you don't have to explain hentai to me," Steve ribbed, trying to recover from the knowledge that thousands- no, probably millions- of people had jerked off to a stranger that was pretending to be him.  Might even be doing it now.  It was disconcerting.  He liked to help people, but he'd never dreamed he'd be helping them  _that_  way.

Kate stared directly into Steve's eyes.  "Hentai is Japanese tentacle porn."

Steve gaped like a goldfish out of water.  "You know, Instagram sounds like a really cool place.  It's Insta!  It's gram!  It's- I don't know what the fuck it is, but if there are no drawings of me fucking a giant squid then it's my new favorite social media."

"That's the spirit," Kate said.  "Now get out your phone, loser, we're going gramming."

By the time Kate left for class Steve had an Instagram account (@artfldodgr1944), some basic social media ground rules, and a morbid curiosity about Captain America porn.  That last one could wait, though.  He still needed to finish setting up his account.  He thought about using a photo he'd taken of the Brooklyn Bridge for his profile picture, but ultimately decided against it.  He went for the picture of the latte with foam art that he'd gotten at the little book store/cafe down the street.  It seemed more anonymous and arty.

Now to post.  Kate had suggested he post a maximum of one sketch per day.  She said it would be enough to reel people in, but not so much that he couldn't keep up, and if he had to skip a day or fiveit wouldn't be too jarring.  Steve flipped through his sketchbook idly, trying to decide which drawing to start with.  One that wasn't so personal it would give him away, but something interesting enough to catch people's eye...

He stopped on a page with a sketch of a Central Park squirrel.  It had been wearing a pink bow around its neck and Steve had wondered who had tried to tame a squirrel, of all animals.  It had seemed to notice the sketchbook in Steve's hands and stopped, almost like it was posing, so Steve had obligingly drawn it.  When he was finished he had flipped the sketchbook over to show the creature- he wasn't sure why he did it- and it had almost nodded before scampering off and up into the nearest tree.  

Steve smiled fondly at the thought of it.  He carefully photographed the sketch, making sure the lighting was such that the phone wouldn't throw shadows.  Then he uploaded the photo, tagged it the way Kate had shown him on her Instagram account, and hit post.  He set his phone down.  He doubted anyone would see it, but it felt good knowing that he'd done something instead of continuing to hide himself away.  Then he pulled over his laptop and gave in to his perverse curiosity.

 

Steve slowly filled his Instagram with pictures of his drawings.  His follower count slowly but steadily ticked up.  Usually he stuck to landscapes, animals, or still life, but every once and a while he would post people.  Two girls, laughing and holding each other, clearly in love.  A lithe male archer, muscles and bow taut, ready to release the arrow between his fingers.  A boy, thin frame on the cusp of stocky manhood, with a black eye and his hands in his pockets while a cigarette drooped out of his daring grin.  (Steve had included an anti-smoking psa on this one.  He'd heard about lung cancer.)  His other drawings drew praise, but it was his rare portraits that got the most attention.  People said that he captured human emotion in a raw, visceral way.  Steve thought wryly that he'd never experienced emotion in any other way.

Steve and Kate were in the middle of a Disney movie marathon when Steve's phone buzzed.  He looked at it casually and then tossed his phone on the floor, eyes fixed back on the dragon force-feeding the secretly-female warrior-in-training breakfast.  "Insta?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, 'nother message from someone about my art,” Steve remarked casually.

"Here, lemme see," Kate said, and before Steve could react (he was really into this movie) Kate was on his phone and opening the app.  "You really need to put a password on this," she chided.  "Bro, have you ever checked your messages on here?  You've got, like, thousands.  Someone named @squirrelgirl wants a physical copy of that squirrel drawing you did.  I guess it's her squirrel?  Didn't know you could own squirrels.  You've got like..." she scrolled for a moment in silence.  "... too many asking to get into your pants.  Jesus, they haven't even  _seen_  you and they want to bang you!"  Then Kate gasped.  She started squealing and bouncing up and down.  Steve was getting pretty annoyed by this point- it was a big musical number with a hot animated shirtless guy, seriously?

"C'mon, Kate, I thought we were watching a movie," he said grumpily.

“Steve, it's the National Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh!!!  Their official account!!!!  They want to feature your art!!!!"  Kate was practically shrieking.

Steve finally looked away from the TV and blinked.  "What," he said slowly, unsure he'd heard that right.

"It's the National Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh.  They're doing an exhibit on ‘Art and the Internet’ and they want to use some of your drawings."

Steve frowned.  This wasn't the way this was supposed to happen.  He was supposed to be approached in person by the gallery owner.Bucky was supposed to be there.There was supposed to be a grand opening, with strawberries and champagne.Then again, by those original metrics, Steve wasn’t supposed to be posting his art on the internet either.Times had certainly changed.

"If you're worried about anonymity we can just make you like Banksy.  All cool and unknowable and shit."  Kate was clearly worried.  People weren't supposed to look this unhappy when a major art gallery was asking to show your work.

Steve shook himself a bit.”Yeah.  Yeah, let's do that.  Sexy mystery artist.  I like that.  Would you handle this, Kate?  I wouldn't even- I have no clue what I'm doing."  Steve forced himself to smile.  He could even almost mean it.

"On it," Kate said airily, waving her hand and turning her attention back to Steve's phone.  Steve grumbled and rewound the movie back to the breakfast scene.  He wanted to see that musical number again.  He made a mental note to interrupt Kate if there were any cool battle scenes later on in the movie.She deserved it for reading his messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Reflection from the Disney movie Mulan. This is also the movie Steve and Kate are watching.


	6. The Bullets Catch in Her Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate turns 21!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of Steve's dumb-ass, quasi-suicidal canon movie behavior. Mention of suicidal ideation.
> 
> Shoutout to helloarmchairphilosopher for asking for more info that led to an extra 1,000+ words of angst.

In mid-July Steve realized that he didn’t know what Kate’s plans for the fall were.  “How many years do you have left of college?” he asked one afternoon.It was the hottest day of the summer so far.  Steve and Kate were lounging in their swimsuits under a giant umbrella by the rooftop pool at Bishop Tower, fruity drinks in hand.

“Well,” Kate drawled, lazy from the heat, “I just finished my undergrad, but I’ve got another three or four years ahead of me for my law degree.”

Steve propped himself up on one arm to look at Kate, surprised.  “You finished your bachelor’s and didn’t tell anyone?In my day, that was a huge deal.  Especially for women.”

Kate attempted a shrug that ended up looking more like a shoulder flop.  “I’m a rich kid.We’re expected to get an MBA minimum.Masters in Business Administration,” she clarified.  “A bachelor’s is about as big a deal as a kindergarten diploma.”

“So where are you doing your law degree?” Steve asked, making a mental note to look up why they gave kids diplomas for passing kindergarten.

“I was thinking of just staying at NYU,” Kate replied.  “That way I can keep up my current position at S.H.I.E.L.D. instead of dealing with the hassle of a transfer.”

Steve didn’t need a bachelor’s degree to know that this was code for ‘I’m not sure you’re ready to be left to your own devices.’  It annoyed him.“Where would you go if you didn’t feel like you needed to stay here and take care of me in my old age?” he asked pointedly.

Kate roused herself and stared at him over the rim of her round purple sunglasses.  After a moment she flopped back down onto her lounge chair.“Maria and I were planning to go to UC Berkeley together.  She got into their chemical engineering program and I got into their law school.”

Steve’s eyebrows contracted and his lips thinned.  “Kate,” he said quietly, “you are not planning your life around me.”  It was an order.

Kate sat up, all trace of heat-induced laziness gone.  She did not take orders well.“Just because you’re my superior officer doesn’t mean you can give me orders, _Captain_ ,” she sneered.  “I’ve seen your file.  Social Anxiety, Adjustment Disorder, Suicidal Ideation, PTSD, ADHD-like tendencies, high risk of developing OCD and/or disordered eating, uncooperative when approached by therapists.  If I leave New York you’ll be completely dysfunctional within a week.”

Steve was pissed.  Fury wouldn’t let him read his own file, but Kate was sitting here spewing diagnoses he didn’t even know he had.  “Don’t flatter yourself, _intern_.  Just because Fury trusts you with my file more than he trusts me with it doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be my savior.  I’ve taken care of myself before, I can do it again.I don’t need a fucking babysitter.”

“You’ve never taken care of yourself,” hissed Kate.  She sat up and took off her sunglasses so that she could glare directly at Steve.  “When it wasn’t your mom it was Bucky.You didn’t even last a week without him.You threw yourself into a fucking iceberg rather than live without someone to take care of you.  The second I step on a plane is the second Fury puts you on suicide watch.”

Steve was too angry for words.  He got up from his lounge chair and flipped it.  Then he threw on his shirt and slides and stomped towards the door.

“I’m having Fury add anger issues to your file,” Kate yelled after him.  The rooftop door slammed.“Fuck,” Steve heard her whisper.He turned to look through the window in the door as Kate flopped back down onto her chair.  Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was clenching her jaw in apparent frustration.“ _Fuck_.”  Steve turned around and proceeded down the stairwell.

 

“Kate really said all that?” Clint asked.  Steve nodded.Clint let out a low whistle.  “I’ll talk to her about going to Berkeley, but the rest of it you two have to work out.  I may be dumb, but I’m not dumb enough to step into the middle of a fight between a super soldier and an assassin-in-training.”

“You’re not dumb, Clint,” Steve said, then sighed and put his head in his hands.  He had walked for a long time after leaving Kate on the rooftop.Eventually he had realized he was near Clint’s building.  He decided to pay Clint a visit, half hoping that Clint could somehow just magically undo everything Steve had just fucked up.

Clint looked at Steve.  Clint appeared to be having an internal debate.  After a minute, he opened the refrigerator and produced two beers and a pizza box.  “You know what always makes me feel better?Besides shooting things, I mean.Cartoons.  I’ve got this great one I think you’ll love.Kid locks himself up in ice for a hundred years and then emerges to save the world with his new buddies.  It’s a modern classic.”

Steve considered arguing that the premise sounded a little too close to home, but he was tired.  “Yeah, sure,” he said.At least it would be a distraction.He grabbed the rest of the six pack of beer and followed Clint over to the couch.  Knowing Clint, he may as well settle in for a marathon.

Clint apparently had nothing better to do, because he and Steve spent the next 31 hours binge watching ‘Avatar: The Last Airbender.’   Steve spent the rest of the second night on Clint’s couch.He left early in the morning after scrawling a thank-you note on an empty pizza box with a Sharpie.

He thought about the things Kate had said as he walked back to his apartment.  Steve couldn’t stay mad at her.She did have a point about his behavior.The riskiest, stupidest things he’d ever done were becoming Captain America, storming Azzano, and crashing the Valkyrie.  There’d been no one around to tell him no.Peggy would call him on his bullshit, but she found his recklessness noble and even encouraged it.Bucky, however, had always been able to infuse a little common sense into Steve’s more impulsive decisions.  It was part of why they were such a good team.

When Steve got back to his apartment he found Kate asleep on his couch.  She looked peaceful.She was also drooling into the couch cushions, so he snapped a picture and sent it to the group chat that he, Kate, Maria, and Clint were on.  Kate’s phone buzzed, waking her up.She groaned and stretched.When she caught sight of Steve, she glared.“Took you long enough,” she muttered, unzipping and reaching into her backpack to pull out two files.  She held them out to Steve, who took them.Then she got off the couch and grumbled her way over to the bathroom.

Steve sat down on a kitchen bar stool and looked at the files in his hands.  One was labelled ‘Bishop, Katherine E.’The other was labelled ‘Rogers, Steven G.’  He opened the one with his name on it and flipped through it.It was his official S.H.I.E.L.D. file.

Kate emerged from the bathroom.  “Kate,” said Steve, his voice soft and gentle, “you didn’t have to.”

Kate avoided looking at him as she grabbed her backpack.  “I’ve gotta check in with Maria.I’ll be back tonight to pick up the files.”  She was being deliberately casual.

“I’ll make tacos then,” Steve said.

“Whatever, Shitstain,” Kate called as she walked out the door.

Steve grabbed a protein bar and sat down on the couch.  He decided to start with Kate’s file.It was a lot smaller than his.  He flipped it open and started reading her basic info.Her birthday was only two weeks away.  Interesting.Steve chewed on his protein bar and continued reading.

 

“I have a surprise for everyone,” Kate announced as she passed out index-card sized pieces of gold paper.  “My parents are throwing a party that happens to be on my 21st birthday!” 

“Kate, it’s sweet of you to steal some invitations for us, but I really don’t think your parents are gonna want me there.” Clint was standing in the kitchen of his apartment in his boxers feeding a mangy, one-eyed dog pizza with one hand and holding a carafe of coffee in the other. He had apparently completely forgotten that Kate, Maria, and Steve were coming over to watch a movie about Robin Hood involving animated talking animals. Kate had also promised a surprise. This was apparently the surprise. 

“Wait- you had to steal invitations to your own party?” Steve asked, frowning as he put the beer he’d brought in the fridge. It was still cold from the cooler case at the store. 

Kate shrugged. “Is it stealing if it’s technically my party?”

“Kate’s dad is an asshole,” Maria said by way of an explanation. “Kate, are you sure you want us there? You won’t get in trouble if we show up, right?” 

“Nah,” Kate said. “I doubt they’ll even notice. If they do notice anything, it’ll be because they’re so _honored_ that Captain America showed up. A _real legend_. They’ll try and get publicity photos out of you- just say no. I’ll spill something on you if it helps. You’ve got a tux, right?” Kate’s attitude was totally unconcerned- like this was normal. It was weirding Steve out a little bit. 

“Why would I have a tux? I haven’t been anywhere nicer than that lobster place you took us to since I woke up.” Steve didn’t think he’d ever even worn a tux. And come to think of it, he wasn’t sure he’d been anywhere as fancy as that lobster restaurant before he’d been frozen either. 

Clint stared into his coffee carafe like it was a crystal ball. “I see a shopping trip in your future, Cap. You, me, Tony, and a haberdashery on 5th Ave.” 

“Are you actually volunteering to take me shopping and put up with Tony Stark?” Steve asked, incredulous. 

Clint continued to pretend that the secrets of the universe were hidden in the carafe. Given how strong he made his coffee, it was entirely possible that they were. “I see… Tony holding a credit card. He’s swiping it at the register. The salesperson is smiling because the credit card was not declined despite the bill being several thousands of dollars.” 

Kate, Steve, and Maria laughed. Steve popped the tab on one of the four beers he’d purposely left out of the fridge. He wondered if people who wore tuxes drank canned beer. “All right, I’ll text Tony,” he said. “Now can we get to this movie? Kate says it’s almost as good as Mulan.” 

 

Tony was thrilled to find out that Clint and Steve needed tuxes. It also turned out that Tony was actually on the real invite list to the party due to his business and social connections. The three of them spent a miserable afternoon getting fitted together at a haberdashery that was, in fact, located on 5th Avenue.

“I can’t believe you’ve never worn a tux,” Tony prattled.  “I blame my dear old dad.He should have made sure you had a good suit that wasn’t red, white, and blue.”

“There was a war on, Tony, we didn’t have the resources,” Steve responded wearily.  A woman he’d never met before was waving a tape measure uncomfortably close to his balls.

“Hey Tony, are you buying?” Clint asked.  He was bent over the glass case next to the register.

“Don’t you have money?” Tony grumbled, “or have you been playing Robin Hood again?”

Clint straightened up and acted like he was thinking long and hard.  “Let’s pretend that I don’t understand how my bank account works or why there’s so much money in it,” he said.  “Does that change your answer?”

Steve looked suddenly relieved, and not just because the woman with the tape measure had moved on to other body parts.  “I thought I was the only one!I wake up and people tell me I’m a billionaire or something.When I went into the ice all I had to my name was one month’s pay.”

“I still don’t know how debit cards work,” Clint admitted.  “I mean, I do use it, but I spent so much of my life stealing or paying with unmarked bills that it feels weird to use it.”

Tony looked back and forth between Steve and Clint, his mouth and eyes round with horror.  “Ok, fine, I’ll pay for the suits and whatever else you want today.But we’re signing you up for Pepper’s financial education course.  And then we’re going to find some nice accountants to handle your money.Don’t thank me.I’d better tell Pepper that she needs to develop a financial education course...”

“Awesome,” Clint responded.  “Hey Ms. Saleslady, I’ll take a pair of your onyx arrow cufflinks.  He,” Clint added, jerking his thumb at Steve, “will take the diamond-encrusted stars.”  Steve blushed at the thought of wearing diamonds.

“Hey, what about me?  It’s my money you’re spending,” Tony whined.

Clint turned to the salesperson.  “Do you have any of those plastic ones that they use for kid suits?” he asked.

“Fuck you,” Tony said as forcefully as was possible for someone who was taking their own turn with a measuring tape near the balls.

“It’s a date,” Clint said with a wink.  

Steve laughed while Tony groaned.  “What am I doing with my life?” Tony asked no one in particular, “And how did I get here?”

“We’re getting tuxes for a party,” Steve informed Tony helpfully.

“And you got here because, well, you see, when a man and a woman love each other very much…” Clint started, before being interrupted by the saleslady.

“Your turn for a fitting, dear,” she said.

“ _Pray for my balls_ ,” Clint mouthed at Steve as he followed the woman into the dressing room.  Steve just smirked.

 

Tony decided that Steve and Clint should ride to Kate’s party in his limo. When they pulled up to the Bishop’s building they were greeted by paparazzi, which was miserable, followed by Kate’s parents, who turned out to be even worse than the paparazzi. Steve didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone as fake as they were. He was wondering how on earth they’d spawned a kid like Kate when Clint leaned over and whispered, “I think this is wife number four. She’s about Kate’s age. Ever since Kate’s mom died he’s been trading them in for younger and younger models.” Steve kept his face politely blank as he nodded to acknowledge Clint’s words. Poor Kate. 

When they finally entered the ballroom it became extremely clear that Kate’s birthday had merely been an excuse to have an event. There was nothing that reflected Kate’s personality at all- nothing resembling pizza, nothing archery related, not even a speck of the color purple in sight. Tony melted into the crowd to schmooze, leaving Steve and Clint standing awkwardly in the doorway for a moment before Steve spotted Kate. Steve grabbed Clint’s arm and dragged him to the corner of the bar where Kate and Maria were drinking margaritas. 

The girls looked stunning. Kate was wearing a deep amethyst ball gown that set off her white skin and dark hair perfectly. Maria looked like a princess in a pale pink tea-length dress.   They both looked relieved to see Steve and Clint. They rose from their stools as one and wrapped the men in a group bear hug. 

After a moment Kate and Maria pulled back. Kate looked them both up and down, nodding with approval. “You guys look good. Clint, I had no idea you could clean up like this- I hardly recognize you!” 

“Good,” said Clint. “That means your dad won’t remember that I’m the hired archery teacher and therefore don’t belong here.” 

Kate rolled her eyes. “Clint, you belong here as much as I do.” 

“This doesn’t really seem like your scene, Kate,” Steve said quietly. “You and Maria look amazing, but you’re also hiding in the corner of the bar. That doesn’t exactly scream being comfortable.” His eyes betrayed sadness, though the rest of his face was carefully neutral. He knew Kate wouldn’t want pity.

Kate shifted uncomfortably and took a sip of her margarita. “Yeah, well…” she shrugged. Maria was just staring into her drink. Clint and Steve exchanged glances, and then Clint turned and disappeared. Steve sat down on the barstool next to Maria’s and ordered a neat single malt Scotch. The three of them sat in silence, watching the crowd of dolled-up debutantes mingle as a pianist played various classical pieces. 

After half an hour Clint returned, carrying a tray of finger sandwiches and a bottle of champagne. He set the tray down in front of Kate and Maria and then sat himself on the empty barstool next to Steve, swigging champagne straight from the bottle. Kate and Maria looked from the platter to Clint in surprise, then laughed and dug in. Steve and Clint ate too- the finger sandwiches were smoked salmon with cream cheese and dill and tasted absolutely amazing. 

The mood was much lighter after food was consumed. Kate and Clint started pointing out various people in the crowd and making up ridiculous backstories about them. Sometimes Kate actually knew who the person was, and then she’d fill everyone in on who they were, how they made their money, and what scandals they’d been involved in. Steve and Maria were a good audience, by turns laughing and looking scandalized. Kate was actually managing to have fun by the time Tony found them. 

“Now that’s Tony Stark, CEO of Stark Industries,” Kate informed them, pointing at Tony as he walked towards them and making sure her voice was just loud enough for him to hear. “He’s famous for fucking lots of women and being Iron Man.” 

“I heard he wears platform shoes,” Clint stage whispered. Kate and Maria giggled. 

“His dad got a hard-on every time he saw me after the serum. I’m pretty sure I overheard him saying ‘Captain America’ as he masturbated once,” Steve said seriously, though his eyes were twinkling. “I thought about taking pity on him and inviting him to a threesome with Peggy and I, but Peggy was afraid he’d ejaculate just from seeing me take my shirt off.” 

This sent Kate, Maria, and Clint into gales of laughter. Tony, however, did not look amused. “I buy you suits, I give you a ride in my limo, and this is how you repay me?” he whined, giving his best puppy dog eyes. “I wonder if it’s too late to cancel the cake. I may have to eat it all myself.” 

“Cake?” asked Steve. 

“Cake,” Tony said seriously, nodding. “The one on its way to Stark Tower. The one Clint told me to order because apparently, the caterer for this birthday party forgot to order a birthday cake. I’d fire the catering company, but since it’s not my party I’ve been informed that it’s out of my jurisdiction.” 

“So _that’s_ where you went,” Maria said to Clint.  “I wondered why it took you so long to steal a bottle of champagne when we’re literally sitting at the bar.”

Kate stared at Tony, stunned. “You ordered me a cake? Tony, I’ve literally met you, like, once.” 

“Yeah, well,” Tony waived his hand airily. “You’ve gone above and beyond for our Capcicle and I know something about rich kid daddy issues. Now come on, the limo’s waiting for us out back. I think we should be able to slip out that way without getting awkward questions.” 

Kate and Maria led the way hand in hand, giggling. Steve followed, giving Clint a piggyback ride as Clint drank from his bottle of champagne. Tony brought up the rear, rolling his eyes and trying very hard not to look like he found any of this fun. They piled into the Stark Limousine and passed Clint’s champagne around as they rode to the tower. Tony led them up to a fully-furnished living room area on an upper floor. Pepper and Bruce were waiting next to a table with purple balloon bouquets, white roses, and a gorgeous birthday cake with purple icing roses dotting the white buttercream. Sparkler candles were already lit. 

“Oh Tony, I’m gonna murder you in your sleep,” Kate said gratefully. She looked on the verge of tears. 

“JARVIS, set extra security protocols for my bedroom tonight,” Tony said, apparently to no one in particular. 

“Noted, sir,” replied the air. Kate jumped and laughed, still trying to hold back tears. Maria went wide eyed with awe. 

“Why don’t we sing before the candles burn down and ruin the frosting?” Pepper suggested gently. Kate nodded. Tony led them in singing Happy Birthday. Kate blew out the candles. Pepper cut and served cake. Tony poured them all whiskey. Bruce surreptitiously passed Steve a Hulkbuster-scented gummy. Clint turned the TV on to a station that only played indie pop music. Steve played with the light switches in an attempt to try and get mood lighting as he ate Bruce’s gummy. It was an infinitely better party than the one they’d just left. 

They spent the evening talking, dancing, and drinking. Bruce disappeared around midnight.  By two a.m. it became obvious that no one was going home that night. “It’s a good thing I’ve been including apartments for all the Avengers in my tower remodel,” Tony said. “I’m planning to formally invite you all to move in. Pepper, would you take Kate and Maria to the spare apartment? I’ll show Clint and Steve to theirs.” 

“You built us apartments?” Steve asked, slightly awed. 

Clint frowned into his beer. “I have an apartment. I like my apartment.” 

Tony stared as directly at Clint as was possible while weaving a little. “Your apartment gets broken into by the Russian mob, like, every week.” 

Clint burped. “Fair point.” 

Steve liked his apartment, even though it was huge. The furniture was mostly wooden and old-fashioned, like something he might have had growing up if there’d been the money for it.  The upholstery and curtains were a matching woven fabric in navy blue.Original art by small-time New York artists dotted the walls. Tony had made sure the place was stocked with the essentials, and Steve was pleased to find a toothbrush and toothpaste already in the bathroom.

He wasn’t sure he’d want to live with Tony, though. He was too needy.  Steve was sure that even though he would have his own apartment, Tony would be calling and interrupting him with ideas at all hours of the day and night.  It would be nice to stay once in a while though, if it meant more nights like this. The evening had ended up being nearly perfect. All that had been missing was Bucky, with his superior dance moves and his sarcastic wit.  A party had never been a party without Bucky. _If only_ , Steve thought as he slipped into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from Paradise by Coldplay.


	7. I Can't Wait to See You Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate leaves for college.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter and the epilogue. It's been such a glorious ride- thanks for sticking with it!
> 
> This work would not be up if it weren't for helloarmchairphilosopher.

"I'm gonna miss you."

"Cut it out, shitstain, you're killing me," Kate complained.  Steve was giving her a hug that was, almost literally, bone-crushing.  He'd volunteered to drive her to the airport to see her off when he found out her parents were going to send her alone in one of their cars.  "Besides, you'll see me again.  Skype is a thing, you know."

Steve let go.  "Yeah, but you're gonna be busy with law school and S.H.I.E.L.D.  If Maria hadn't gotten into Berkeley too I'd be worried that you're gonna spend the next three years eating nothing but pizza and beer."

Kate rolled her eyes.  "You say that like it's a problem."

"You gotta eat your fruits and vegetables, you know,” Steve mother-henned.  “You can get literally anything any time of the year now.  You don't know how lucky that is.”He had on his nostalgia face, which was the soft version of his Righteous face.

“Fine,” Kate sighed.“I'll mix it up and order Hawaiian or veggie sometimes instead of just meat lovers."  Kate grinned and elbowed him in the ribs.  Steve could see that the grin didn't quite reach her eyes, though.  

Steve went back to looking like a mother hen.”Have fun.  Be safe.  Work hard.  Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"I'm pretty sure 'don't do anything I wouldn't do' is the worst advice you could ever give anyone, Steven G. Rogers."  It made Kate laugh, though.  "You're gonna make me miss my plane.  Get outta here," Kate said, giving Steve a push, and then she grabbed her luggage and headed towards the security line.  When she reached it she looked back and waved.  Steve waved back, then turned and walked out the huge wall of automatic doors, totally surrounded by people yet completely alone.  

As Steve reached his truck he felt his phone vibrate.  He thought about ignoring it- Steve really wasn't in the mood to deal with other people's problems right now.  Except that was selfish.  Captain America wasn't supposed to be selfish.  Steve sighed.  He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked down.  It was from Kate.

Steve opened it to find a photo.  Kate had gotten through security and found Maria.  They had apparently located a store that sold Captain America merch.  They were posing next to some t-shirts with his face on them.  Maria was making an adoring kissy face while Kate’s face was contorted into a disgusted grimace.  Steve laughed, took a quick selfie, and texted it back.  Steve still wasn't sure about the 21st century.  There were a lot of fights still being fought that should have been won decades ago.  A lot of terrible people were still doing terrible things.  But with friends like these- well, Steve figured, maybe they really could make the world the type of place he'd always imagined.

* * *

** Epilogue **

After Kate and Maria left for Berkeley Steve decided to take a trip to Edinburgh.  He went alone and stayed in a hostel- he knew Tony would balk at this, but this wasn't Tony's call.  He wandered the city for two days, taking in the sites and the whiskey, before finally deciding it was time to visit the National Portrait Gallery.  He'd come to see his exhibit, after all.  There wouldn't be strawberries, or champagne, or Bucky.  But at least his work was in a museum with his own consent.  And it had done wonders for his Instagram following- Kate said he was now “Insta famous."  Apparently Steve Rogers was the type of person who was going to end up a celebrity no matter what.

He explored the rest of the gallery first, drinking it in.  It was a week day and school was in session, so it was relatively quiet- quieter than the Museum of Modern Art, at least.  He wound his way upstairs and down until the "Art and the Internet" exhibit was the only one he hadn't visited.  He took a deep breath and stepped into the room.

It was empty save for a lone man sitting on the bench in the middle of the room.  He was wearing a black sweatshirt with the hood pulled up, black gloves, tight black pants, and black combat boots.  He was also facing the wall with Steve's drawings.  Steve looked at the other pieces first, to give the man some privacy.  Most were digitally rendered, done with just as much skill as Steve's physical work and far more colors.  They were good.  He made notes on a tiny pad so that he could find and follow each artist in the exhibit.  Eventually, though, he ran out of art- and excuses- so he turned his attention to the drawings labelled @artfldodgr1944 (graphite on paper, posted to Instagram.)

Kate had picked out and sent the drawings herself. Steve had copied everything in his sketchbook and given it all to her as a going away present.  He'd also had Kate give a copy of the squirrel drawing to pass on to @squirrelgirl, who was apparently a really cool teenager named Doreen with a butt to rival Steve's.  Steve had given Kate permission to do what she liked with the drawings, as long as it wouldn't "out" him.   He'd told her to surprise him when it came to the gallery submissions.  Not that there was much that surprised him nowadays- God, he was getting cynical.

Four of his pieces were on the wall.  The squirrel with the pink ribbon.  Kate and Maria, laughing with their arms around each other.  Clint ready to hit a bull's eye at a hundred yards.  Bucky, as Steve remembered him from age 13.  It was this last drawing that the man in the hoodie seemed to be staring at, apparently transfixed.  It was a little hard to tell because Steve could see from this angle that most of his face was covered by a solid black bandanna.  Steve felt drawn to him- he had no clue why- and before he could stop himself he was sitting down on the bench next to the stranger.

"You like it?" Steve found himself asking.  The stranger merely nodded.  They sat in companionable silence for a while, and then the man spoke in a dark, gravelly voice.

"I knew him.  The boy."

This was the last thing Steve had expected.  His voice was tight when he answered.  "You knew Bucky?"

The stranger didn't seem surprised that Steve had known the name of the boy in the drawing. Steve realized belatedly that he had essentially just admitted he was the artist.  Somehow, he didn't think this guy would be shouting that fact from the rooftops.  Steve looked back at the drawing for a moment, then turned towards the stranger saying "My name's Steve, by the way, what's-"

But the stranger was gone.  He'd made no sound and left no trace.  He could have been a ghost for all Steve knew.  Maybe the tour guides from the cemetery last night had been right.  Maybe ghosts did exist, and Edinburgh was full of them.  Or, more likely, he was going crazy.  Steve slowly made his way back up to the main floor and out the museum doors, blinking for a moment as his eyes adjusted to the particular glare that only a clouded-over sky could produce.

Steve took a deep breath.  He'd felt drawn to the man in black the same way he felt drawn to Bucky, he realized.  But Bucky was dead.  The glare in the sky lessened as a darker cloud moved in front of where the sun must have been hiding.  He felt a drop of rain on his cheek.  It was starting to drizzle.  Steve made his way to the nearest cafe, alone, where he drew a man in black combat boots hiding Bucky’s face under a black hood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is from See You Again by Miley Cyrus.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title is from "Friday" by Rebecca Black, which is the song Kate and Maria are dancing to at the club.


End file.
